First words?...yeah right!

This may be a bit winded, but I need to incubate and give birth to THIS point! So, guys are so appreciative and for some, the glorious lights of heaven shine on their heads when their new infant says DADA first! For the mothers, worry not, and here's why... it is bull crap! Because it wasn't MAMA first, just means that their buccinator, masseter and obicularis oris region muscles are fully adapted to speaking, the are fully adapted to suckling! Which is ironic, because that makes us daddy's suckers!!! DADA, out of the mouth of a little baby actually means a myriad of things. It could mean, I'm awake! Pick me up you giant jag-off! or hey, I've just shit myself, take off my diaper so I can pee everywhere, or Quick, I have just eaten, hold me so I can puke on you! As they get older, the definitions can change. Around a year old, DADA is sometimes used as a battle cry while swiping those razor-like finger nails at your face for taking away the 4 pound tub of peanut butter, or a melodic whine when MAMA leaves for work, to show blame!(for mama leaving of course! again, enter battle cry!) So, words are very important in the development of your child's conversation. When you teach a new word, teach the right one! Katy is a few months shy of 4 years old and I feel fully responsible for her "vocabulary" discrepancies! Example? Sure! Boy's and girl's private parts should be taught as a penis and a vagina! End of story! We messed up, thinking we would save ourselves future embarrassment by naming them, like every other family, after food products! Why is that anyway? Peach, muffin, hot dog...is it to subconsciously prepare them for their sexual years, so certain "acts" wont seem so gross?!?! If this IS this case, I'm changin' our family's words to grenade and cow pattie! Anyway, we use Pickle and Peeps. Peeps, I'm not too sure about(unless it's the Easter candy) you gotta ask my wife about that, but pickle,well, it beat out summer sausage by a mile! Lena was in the fridge yesterday grabbing the....wait for it......pickles! Whole one's! Claussen, Always Chilled! Katy grabs one, holds it straight to her nether regions, and exclaims that she was now a little boy! Hooray for what we teach our kids!!! But that was not the point of my rant, this is, be careful what you teach your children, AND teach your children what they need to know! ( or else they will make shit up!) Colleen was getting ready for work, and for a brief moment was topless. Katy told me not to look at mommy's boobies, and covered my eyes. She then put on her bra and Katy exclaimed that I could look now because mommy has on her Booby-trap!!! Have a great day people!